is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
