i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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