im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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