Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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