My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Randomize
