I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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