and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
