He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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