He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
