I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
