Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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