i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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