What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You did what with his pubic hair?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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