i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
