we have officially lost it.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
