Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
