Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
