I just made out with a guy for $7.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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