god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
