his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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