let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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