There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
