That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
