she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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