They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She bit a glass in half.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
