fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
