saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize