i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
