Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
