but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dick very happy bro
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