Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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