Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
