drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i came on her dog
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
