dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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