I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
