wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize