Too much gin, very little bucket
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
