porn star boner night. come get it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
