we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
