Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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