Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
