I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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