just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
