that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize