watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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