Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
