thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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