In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
