Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
