kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize