so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
