I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
