Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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