Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
