how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
