With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
