i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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