WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
